|
|
membres on-line : |
|
| |
En ce moment:
0 membre
2 visiteurs
21 visites aujourd’hui
Record visites :
12/09/23 : 381 visites
Record membres :
27/03/08 : 13 membres
Record simultané :
13/01/22 : 39 visiteurs
01/01/70 : 3 membres
Aucun membre connecté |
|
|
Nombre de visiteurs : |
|
| |
163610 visiteurs
depuis le 20/01/2008
|
|
|
Index des articles > Blagues > Blagues
|
Blagues |
|
| |
Article posté par titic57 vu 1183 fois.
Un avion décolle. Le pilote est juif. Le copilote, lui, est chinois.
C'est leur premier vol ensemble.
Un silence de plomb règne dans la cabine de pilotage. L'harmonie n'est pas au rendez-vous.
Une fois la vitesse de croisière atteinte, le pilote actionne le pilote automatique, s'enfonce dans son fauteuil et murmure:
«Les Chinois me font chier »
«Vous, pas aimer Chinois. Pourquoi?» de répondre le co-pilote.
«Ils ont bombardé Pearl Harbour!»
«Non, Chinois pas bombardé Pearl Harbour, mais Japonais!»
«Japonais, Chinois, Viets...qu'est-ce que ça peut bien faire? vous êtes tous pareils...»
Un autre lourd silence s'abat encore dans la cabine.
«Moi, pas aimer Juifs» de murmurer à son tour le Chinois.
«Ah oui, et pourquoi donc?»
«Juifs, couler Titanic!»
«Non, mais faut être malade: les Juifs n'ont jamais coulé le Titanic!» de s'exclamer le pilote.
«C'est un iceberg qui l'a coulé!»
«Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg... tous pareils...»
--------------------------------------------------------------
Un couple a été marié pendant 50 ans.
Un matin au petit déjeuner, la femme déclare :
" Rappelle-toi comme 50 ans en arrière, nous étions probablement assis à cette même table ensemble."
"Je sais," dit le vieil homme
"Nous étions probablement assis, complètement nus."
" Eh, bien, " dit la vielle femme " revivons un peu du passé."
Alors les 2 se déshabillent entièrement et se rassoient.
" Tu sais chéri, " dis la petite vieille toute excitée " mes tétons sont toujours aussi chauds aujourd'hui qu'ils l'étaient il y a 50 ans ! "
"Ca ne m'étonne pas, " répondit le grand-père " Il y en a un dans le grille-pain et l'autre qui trempe dans ton café...
---------------------------------------------------------------
Un prêtre et une nonne sont dans une tempête de neige. Après un moment, ils trouvent une petite cabane.
Exténués, ils se préparent à dormir.
Il y a une pile de couvertures et un duvet sur le sol, mais seulement un lit.
Gentleman, le prêtre dit :
" Ma sœur, vous dormirez dans le lit, et je dormirai sur le sol, dans le duvet".
Alors qu'il venait juste de fermer son duvet et commençait à s'endormir, la nonne dit :
" Mon père, j'ai froid ".
Il ouvre la fermeture de son duvet, se lève, prend une couverture et la pose sur elle.
De nouveau, il s'installe dans le duvet, le ferme et se laisse sombrer dans le sommeil, quand la nonne dit encore :
" Mon père, j'ai toujours très froid".
Il se lève à nouveau, met une autre couverture sur elle et retourne se coucher.
Juste au moment où il ferme les yeux, elle dit :
"Mon père, j'ai si froid ".
Cette fois, il reste couché et dit :
"Ma sœur, j'ai une idée : nous sommes ici au milieu de nulle part, et personne ne saura jamais ce qui s'est passé. Faisons comme si nous étions mariés".
Enfin exaucée, la nonne répond :
" Oui, c'est d'accord ".
Et le prêtre crie :
" Alors tu lèves ton cul et tu prends toi même ta putain de couverture, conasse !"
---------------------------------------------------------------
Un ex va au mariage de son ancienne femme.
Durant la soirée, l'ex va voir le nouveau marié et lui demande d'un air arrogant :
- Comment tu trouves ça, de rentrer dans du stock usagé
Le nouveau marié le regarde droit dans les yeux et, inébranlable (!!!),
Il lui répond :
- C'est stupéfiant ! Passé les 6 premiers centimètres, c'est flambant neuf !
---------------------------------------------------------------
Un homme se cogne contre une femme dans un hall d'hôtel.
Durant la collision son coude butte contre la poitrine de celle-ci.
Ils sont tout deux surpris.
L'homme se tourne vers elle et dit :
"Madame, si votre cœur est aussi doux que votre poitrine, je sais que vous me pardonnerez."
Ce à quoi elle répond :
" Si votre queue est aussi dure que votre coude, je suis dans la chambre 221".
----------------------------------------------------------------
Un homme d'affaire monte à bord d'un train et se retrouve assis à côté d'une superbe femme.
Il remarque qu'elle est en train de lire un livre sur les statistiques sexuelles.
Il l'interroge sur ce sujet, et elle répond :
" C'est un livre très intéressant. Ainsi les Indiens sont ceux dont le pénis est le plus long, et les bretons sont ceux qui savent le mieux s'en servir.
Au fait je m'appelle Florence. Et vous "
"Geronimo LE GENNEC ! Enchanté de vous rencontrer."
---------------------------------------------------------
Un soir, alors qu'un couple se couche, le mari commence à caresser le bras de sa femme.
Elle se retourne et lui dit :
" Je suis désolée chéri, j'ai un rendez-vous chez le gynécologue demain et je veux rester fraîche".
Le mari déçu se retourne.
Quelques minutes plus tard, il se tourne de nouveau vers sa femme.
" Est-ce que tu as aussi un rendez-vous chez le dentiste demain ?"
|
|
[ Imprimer cet article ]
>> Vos commentaires [12]
|
robes taille plus :: [Commentaire n°1] |
|
| |
you'll investigate high-quality searching out footwear with out a lovely brand-tag. robe de marie Longueur mollet robe de marie Longueur mollet robe de soire robe de soire In the event that you are not a brand-freak robe de marie enceinte robe de marie enceinte  , odds are you can expect to go in for these sneakers also. The season-shoe romance is vital in relation to obtaining wedding ceremony ceremony footwear. robe de marie robe de marie Several kinds of types are put on sale all on account of fully a variety of seasons - being an case in point, shut toe sneakers may very well be determined available on the market at the start of spring, and heel footwear is likely to be learned for that point time period with the conclude of fall. Do-It-Yourself methods are amazing if you would enjoy to incorporate things such as that designer talk with in your footwear - expend pounds on the normal pair of sneakers and acquire some
|
|
|
robes de mari¨¦e :: [Commentaire n°2] |
|
| |
Add particular touches towards the ceremony that don't consist of a unity candle or pouring sand from two vases into one particular. 1 thought is to the maid of honor to hold the bride's wedding ceremony ring, and also the greatest male to hold the groom's and, in some unspecified time in the future for the duration of the ceremony, possess the officiant announce which the marriage ceremony rings will likely be handed in between all relations to become blessed. The rings could make their way back again on the appropriate facet and prepared for exchanging in the appropriate time <a href="http://www.habitdress.com/Brune-et-blanche-sans-bretelle-ceinture-satin-simple-robe-demoiselle-d'honneur-CN6468-beauty.html"><img src="http://www.habitdress.com/images/thumbnails/Robe-de-demoiselle-honneur/CN6468.jpg" title="Col En V Jupe Mi Longue Robe De Soire En Mousseline De Soie"></a> . <a href=http://www.habitdress.com>robe de marie</a> robe de marie -Use a mixture of standard vows and personally prepared vows <a href=http://www.habitdress.com/product/list/cate_id/14>robes de demoiselle d'honneur</a> robes de demoiselle d'honneur . Specially by using a decide or perhaps a non-denomination minister, engaged partners are totally free to edit standard
|
|
|
unusual wedding dresses :: [Commentaire n°3] |
|
| |
tightly. As it loosens itself, celtic wedding dresses it powers the clock or watch. short summer dresses Now clocks no longer needed to be confined to a hanging position on a wall or on a tower allure wedding dresses . They could be laid flat, set on a table top, or even carried around. Miniaturization gradually produced smaller and smaller clocks until it became practical to carry one around suspended from a chain around your neck and eventually carried in your pocket.It is difficult to pinpoint who it was exactly that invented the watch, black and white wedding dresses because as clocks grew smaller and smaller, it's nearly impossible to say when clocks stopped being clocks and started being watches, but by the mid 16th century, watches were becoming very common, although affordable to only a few. In the mid 1600s, pocket watches became popular. This was probably driven by a change in men's fashion: men began to
 |
daijin77 |
|
|
|
square wedding dresses :: [Commentaire n°4] |
|
| |
Shapewear can help hide those hard to lose pounds that are still hanging on. wedding dresses If you are tired of the endless dieting and working out, trying to drop that last five pounds, you may want to consider shapewear. Hard work short wedding dresses prom dresses for sale , a well balanced diet 2013 short prom dresses , and exercise can be very effective when you want to drop weight. However, everyone finds it very hard to lose the last couple of pounds. This is even more true, if you lost weight fast with the help of a supplement or weight loss clinic Flower Girl Dresses on sale.For some reason, those few inches are the ones that make the biggest difference in your appearance. Shap ewear will not burn off the weight, but it will help you enjoy your hard work sooner yellow prom dresses for 2013 . Shapewear can instantly give you a tight cheap prom dresses , cheap summer dresses toned look inches before you hit your target size. This will let you start planning for success and begin replacing your wardrobe now. Then
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
fake rolex watches for sale :: [Commentaire n°5] |
|
| |
fake chopard classic watches Johannesburg. Don't LIKE: Yes, they come at a cost. We are able to not anticipate a function of art using the newest technologies with out their very own hand produced. The mere reality that these watches from the finest supplies manufactured and ought to be read by talented designers and engineers produced equally talented sufficient to create the steep cost. Much more importantly, fake watches for sale carries the prestige and luxury watches welldeserved reputation for top watch businesses within the globe. Give the groom accompanied by a stylish new suit, it have to be secular … Romantic … 2011, you are able to pick the modest mermaid wedding gown via improved, just a little sexy just correct. Mermaid wedding dress mopping the floor, collar developed with ruffles, combined with high waist, make the brides look even more wonderful. Mermaid wedding dresses can make the bride look sexier and slimmer, full of textured fabrics is really a symbol of high quality, long lace veil was regarded as romantic shawl, unlimited soft beauty.It really is the most beneficial selection for fashionable avant garde brides. Horizontal ruffles style closely fit the lovely curve of the bride, stunning mermaid style skirt to show a mature and sexy side of females; vertical ruffles style brings the feeling of grand and solemn, V Neck line deep towards the waist highlights women's power and momentum; even though,oblique dynamic cascading,romantic and soft. Designers in several distinct ways excavated to make new and intriguing for the audience is full of three dimensional design and fold level results, with a messy and suitable visual impact, the ornate style of dress to generate aesthetic to an extreme. authentic watches Strapless mermaid skirt can create the best S shaped for the bride, the classic pose of mermaid skirt may be the casual action of the bride walking, then the chest, hip, knee, cheap fake watces will form a perfect 3S curve,in the crystal style in the sideways of the wedding dresses, the whole side of the Look also provide the important light for you.Following a short walk, I entered the back alley joint, and, with out getting to order, the waiter in the front gruffly tossed a plate of knafeh into my hands. It is the type of dessert that is so sweet it tends to make your lips pucker. However it was, indeed, delicious. Taken with getting a foreigner in their midst, the staff forced plate upon plate of various sorts of knafeh on me. At a particular point, I told them I could consume no much more, worrying momentarily about my blood sugar level. en.baomoi06/23/2012, 05:34 Filed under: Photographing Tags: Dolce & Gabbana fake watches Time will be the a great deal of essential jewel that appears to become bottomward achieved us each extra of our lives. In adjustment to accumulate clue of time, humans use abounding accessories that, fake rolex watches for women forth with added functions Dolce ; Gabbana fake watches, achieve the action of cogent the time. Ladies generally don't adopt accustomed gadgets, or accessories like laptops or multimedia PDAs fake watches for sale . Consequently, the very best
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
breitling navitimer replica :: [Commentaire n°6] |
|
| |
properly clip it on your head, no one can detect whether they are the real one or artificial one. replica cartier classic watches You can choose the extension that complements your natural hair color so that it cannot be distinguished easily. Today, you have numerous resources to shop for your favorite product such as both online and retail shopping fake rolex . You will also find a tremendous collection that can be picked out according to the variety of their lengths, replica omega co axial watches colors, textures etc. fake audemars piguet automatic watches You can pick out hair extensions of different styles so that you can change the styles occasionally cheap watches . rolex replicas If you wish, you can even style your hair using styling tools to acquire straight, cheap rolex watches curly or flipping styles. They can also be colored and permed as they do not become damaged like the ordinary wigs and other extensions. Hair extensions are therefore one of the best ones that can provide you with
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
red and white wedding dresses :: [Commentaire n°7] |
|
| |
confirmation for your bank particulars. bridesmaid dresses Following confirming the quantity and als the card owner’s account particulars the issuing bank verifies that the card holder has/has not sufficient profit his/her account for the essential transaction. bridesmaid dresses casual dresses 2013 These accounts can alter particular laptop devicesincluding cell phonesint spend processing resources. There are many variables that will considerably influence the business’s typical processing expenses black bridesmaid dresses , jasmine bridesmaid dresses bridesmaid dresses 2013 White Dresses 2013 s these common numbers ought t be taken having a grain of salt. A business ought t analysis account kinds t figure out which 1 will probably be most appropriate women's plus size clothing . Your business’s typical sale quantity features a big influence on credit card processing charges. That's the cause why little businesses ought t think about this if they wish t develop their businesses and effectively face their rivals. Due t the
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
replica rolex watches :: [Commentaire n°8] |
|
| |
replica watches stated luggage loss, harm and theft represented the greatest single category of travel insurance claims copy watches , accounting for about 40 per cent of total claims replica watch . Travel Insurance Direct Common Manager Ian Jackson stated much more than 25 million bags had been mishandled last year in airports globally, of which about three.four per cent had been by no means reunited with their owners. fake watch Mishandled luggage was 24 per cent lower than the prior year thanks to much better handling systems, but nonetheless occurred at a rate of 68,000 bags per day globally. Some Australians who lose their luggage will by no means see it once more, resulting in thousands of dollars in lost property and immeasurable disruption to holiday plans, Mr Jackson stated. Although the vast majority of misplaced bags are discovered and returned to their owners inside 48 hours, thats no consolation if youre caught within the European winter with out your coat and gloves. Mr Jackson stated there had been ten easy precautions travellers could take to assist make sure their luggage
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
fake watch :: [Commentaire n°9] |
|
| |
individuals considering outdoors the box and asking themselves one factor more than and more than as component off their inventive procedure why not? The outcome is really a outstanding flow of new suggestions that had to become slowed down simply because, as Pontroue puts it, We have sufficient on our plate at this time. Pontroue is extremely clear about exactly where he desires to position within the future. The company model is merely understood, not simple to implement replica watches omega, and locations in the leading from the haute horlogerie pyramid 0% independent and autonomous and creating every thing in house with out the necessity for outdoors suppliers. The resulting goods are than sold by 200 from the very best points of sale about the globe, such as 13 exclusive brand boutiques. now back in the brand and Swiss actor Tomer Sisley in the SIHH booth final weekThe globe from the diva Touching around the present worldwide financial scenario, hublot replica Pontroue had no doubt in saying that he is rather optimistic concerning the globe from the future. believes in long term developments and desires to turn out to be the reference within the haute horlogerie sector. To fulfill this goal, the brand chose to differentiate itself from other people, each when it comes to style and movements. doesn't adhere to trends, says Pontroue. Our inventive individuals are a lot much more like Apple or Bang Olufsen individuals. fake watches for sale How you can be various with out becoming completely out of company will be the every day challenge we've to meet breitling replikas . There are two lines the brand considers historical the Excalibur, that is probably the most emblematic from the brand, and also the other though only 3 months old is the Monegasque. These two pillars existed till the fair, when launched two new ideas, or worlds, which will assist the brand attain its primary objective to sell dreams. The very first of those two new worlds is for ladies and known as The Globe from the Diva. This can be a inventive option Pontroue effortlessly justifies, There is really a company chance with sophisticated mechanical ladies' watches. Pieces which are not just good to take a look at, but that also have content material. fake watch We think that a sophisticated lady will wish to associate powerful style with relevant technological content material. Velvet will be the name from the new line, that is exclusively feminine and composed of seven models, such as its personal mechanical caliber. replica watches cheap Created from the brand's personal designers, this line reinterprets the jewelry watch, and is consequently only provided in set versions; in brief, blancpain replica watches a traditional model having a touch of extravagance. The launch of this line is component of a wider technique which will see the reintroduction of a jewelry line within the future.Pulsion Chronograph in pink goldA globe of adventure The second globe is an outdoor idea, a globe of adventure and exploration known as Pulsion. This can be a line of 5 casual chic models two flying tourbillons and 3 chronographs using the particularity of
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
Colored Wedding Dresses :: [Commentaire n°10] |
|
| |
Cafe St. Bartis an perfect place for a wedding.   Recent Entries June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 If cash permits , 1 in the most significant accessories is maybe a luxury watch. Luxury watches are not just functional, they re also a fantastic addition for your wardrobe. For really a lengthy time, luxury replica watches have been recognized as a symbol of a person s achievement. Brands like Rolex, Cartier, Patek Philippe, TAG Heuer, and also other people appear to demand instant respect and admiration. BRIDESMAID DRESSES Even though the main purpose of luxury Replica Breguet Watches would be to tell the time, increasingly more of today s designs provide fantastic, extra advantages. For instance cheap fake watches, some serve as twoway radios, little computers, or perhaps as a display for the position on earth utilizing GPS technologies. It s incredible to believe how sophisticated the capabilities are on luxury watches. Whilst numerous watches have elevated their capabilities, some have opted to go above and beyond the most recent technologies to provide some thing more—time pieces which are built to last a lifetime. Obviously, these premier watches are recognized as luxury watches. Prior to you buy a Sarcar watch, you will find a couple of issues you need to know. As soon as you do, you need to have no issue selecting the luxury watch that s correct for you. When it comes time for you to shop for a luxury watch, it s important to know the distinction in between an automatic watch that does not run on batteries, along with a quartz watch that does. An automatic watch runs by the physical movement in the wearer s wrist. It indicates that if it is not worn for a time period, it ll quit ticking. Shaking it ll, nevertheless, bring it back to life. A quartz watch utilizes batteries and is generally much less costly than an automatic. Subsequent you need to compare caliber automatic watches to regular automatic watches. Automatic luxury watches function with out the use of batteries, but following a whilst the time will probably be slightly off plus size wedding guest dresses . A caliber automatic luxury watch is in a position to offer much better precision. For instance, following a regular automatic luxury watch is worn for a month, it ll usually be off by 12 minutes, whilst a caliber36 automatic will probably be off by only two minutes. Additionally, a regular automatic, if stored, Wedding Dresses 2014 will run for 36 days prior to it stops ticking, whilst a caliber 36 automatic will run for 50 days. Obviously, the greater the watch high quality, the greater the cost Silver Mother of the Bride Dresses . Lastly, select a watch that fits your personality. You will find a lot of luxury watches accessible these days, it could be extremely overwhelming attempting to select which will greatest meet your requirements. Every brands have a tendency to specialize in particular locations of timekeeping. For instance, Beach Wedding Dress A TAG Heuer is recognized for its accuracy within the sports globe, particularly with regards to gold and autoracing. Short Wedding Dresses Actually, Tiger Woods, a wellknown expert golfer, has helped the business
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
replica breitling watches for sale :: [Commentaire n°11] |
|
| |
your spending budget will limit you on how much you must spend and what brand of bridal gowns you should eye on. Not only will this help you steer clear of impulse purchasingplus size women replica tag heuer watches , however it will also preserve you in control of your expenses.n Know your figure. Right after deciding on the budget, it is time to feel of the style of dress that finest suits your figure. If you are the curvy sort, going for the a line dress will accentuate your curves additional. But in common, plus size females like you ought to remain away from tea dresses since it can make you appear shorter and stubbier in the ankle location.n inexpensive bridal dresses in pakistan 2one on sale Satin A Line Chapel Train Lengthy Sleeve Sweetheart White Wedding Dressn Know where to shop. There are actually a whole lot of bridal shops to select from. If you know an superb bridal shop inside your neighborhood, then that's the very first spot you are able to check. A different choice would be trying to find bridal shops on line replica rolex watches for sale . Today, the web industry is booming plus a lot of entrepreneurs have opened their corporations on line. It's going to be nice should you have a look at the net for on line shops. You could in no way know that the perfect gown for you is just waiting for you on the web.n Tailor up. For those who already looked up all the bridal shops in town and on line, but you can't obtain the excellent gown, appear of a seamstress. That is right. Have the seamstress turn your dream bridal gown into a reality. Discuss with him or her, the design you wish to see. He or she will develop a rough sketch of a gown. fake watches Upon your approval, he or she will sew away, fake bulgari bvlgar watches making your dreams a reality.n low cost casual bride dress on sale Chiffon A Line Chapel Train Sleeveless Strapless White Wedding Dressn Comfort over style. While there is a saying, the vain endures the pain, it would be advised that you simply don't live with that. It is your wedding day and you wouldn't desire to remember it as a day of discomfort and misery. Select a design that is stylish and chic, without having sacrificing your comfort. By deciding on an uncomfortable gown, as opposed to seeking wonderful, you may only end up searching like a disaster fake watches . Tags plus size womenhow do you go about deciding on from the choice of vehicles that Glasgow bridal auto hire firms provide for your big day. Effectively, replica breitling watches for sale get started with having a look in magazines and on the online for tips. If you are somethingdress for women, like me, you won't have a clue how a lot of distinctive possibilities you can find for arriving in style and luxury to your church or venue.Maybe a contemporary limousine is suited to your venue and theme or you could possibly wish to feel about getting a stunning vintage car to roll up in. Is colour vital to you? And what about a vehicle for the bridesmaids and mothers of the bride?If you're having a summer wedding, the selection of a convertible may appeal. But prior to you contemplate your solutions, ask youself just how far are you currently going to be journeying to get to the church or ceremony venue? If it's seriously not incredibly far, you may need to set your spending strategy a bit lower. Spending budget comes down to just how paramount that aspect of your wedding is for you! Certainly if you're staying at the venue the night just before, like me, auto hire does not even need to have to be regarded as unless needless to say you just choose to show off and go round the local town or round the block a couple of times prior to turning up late in my case! for your ceremony .Joking aside, Glasgow bridal car hire firms have
|
daijin77 |
|
|
|
Poster un commentaire |
|
| |
Seuls les membres peuvent poster des commentaires. |
|
|
|
Accueil |
Forum |
Download |
Livre d'or |
Contact |
Liens Web